My 35th Bday Party

OK, apologies to my dedicated (not decimated as the spellcheck put) readers who wait in eager anticipation for my next brilliant story, my next masterpiece…OK, OK, I hear ya, on with the story…



This last weekend, we celebrated my 35th birthday party. Yeah, I know it’s a few weeks early, but on the weekend closest to my birthday Rob will be taking me to Belgium for a romantic weekend. That will be a fun blog to write!!

I am definately getting a lot of experience being a hostess here, and a flash in the future to seeing kids of all ages! We had throughout the day 12 adults and 5 kids ranging from 1-7 years old. It was a wonderful experience having my new Dutch family-in-law over, and the friends I have made through Rob. I had further brilliant conversations with the 3 year old from Quinten’s party, Sven. He now calls me “Mevrouw Laurie” and we have a great time asking what color things are and the names of everyone in the room.



I can actually speak some Dutch now, thanks to my course. I am now having deep philosophical discussions on Plato and Aristotle in Dutch….no, actually, I never had those in English, let alone Dutch, but it did sound impressive. I can say more now than “my name is…I am from…” as long as people speak slowly to me, and I can respond back. I apparently have a very pronounced American accent in Dutch, but then as I am an American not too unexpected. I can compare experiences of life in US/Holland in Dutch, and speak of everyday life things.

Among my friends and family in the US, we usually go out to restaurants for birthday celebrations with a few friends and family. For larger ones like my Mom’s 70th birthday, we took a larger group to a restaurant, or rent banquet room for a party like for my Dad’s surprise 70th.

In Holland, as you read in my blog of Quinten’s bday, birthday parties are held in the house. This is true for adult parties as well as for kids parties. In a way, its kind of an open house for friends and family to drop by and celebrate. Instead of a set call time, people arrive anywhere from 3 PM to 10 PM for my party. You serve the cake as people arrive instead of at the end of the party. We did the happy birthday song at the start (a different one in Holland than in the US, so I have a new song to learn). Also different, as this is not a restaurant, the birthday host/hostess makes sure all the guests are fed and plied with cool beer, that all kids have mini-hotdogs and choco-melk…so I am now an experienced hostess.

Quinten’s First Birthday

Last Saturday, I went to my nephew Quinten’s first birthday party. The cute baby in the picture is obviously the guest of honor, the son of Rob’s sister Femke and her husband Tomas. It was actually a double birthday, as it was Tomas’s birthday party too. To celebrate, Quinten got a cake all of his own to eat with his hands and get all over everything. He had as much fun with that as with eating the cake!



When we first arrived, I experienced one of the more unusual (for an American at least) traditions at a Dutch birthday party. I am used to congratulating the birthday boy/girl of course. In Holland, you also congratulate the family and friends on the birthday person. You wind up going around the room saying “congrats on your son’s/father’s/mother’s/friend’s/second cousin 3 times removed birthday. While doing this, you give the customary Dutch greeting of 3 kisses on the cheek. I have been told that in France it is 2 kisses, but proper Dutch etiquette says 3 kisses. This is done in place of a hug or handshake American Style….of course there are exceptions to everything. Dutch are manly men, and so a guy gives another guy a manly hand shake.

At home, I only have my immediate family living around me. It is a new experience to have extended family-in-law around me. As well as Rob’s parents, there was also Tomas’s parents, sister and aunt/uncle, and family friends with they’re children. Tomas’s mom told me an interesting story that theirs is a tale of 2 brothers marrying 2 sisters. Tomas’s parents’ younger siblings met through them and also married.

The party went from about 2 PM until about 11 PM. There was lots of good company, sweets and bread/cheese served, as well as soup for a dinner. After 1 ½ weeks in my Dutch course, I could hold some very intricate discussions in Dutch. I can now say “My name is…, I live in …, I come from…..”. The rest of the time, I used a jumble of Dutch and English, but luckily everyone speaks English.

I tried to use some of my fancy new vocab to say “what did they think at the office of your new hair cut”, but I said something like “what think they a lot of on her”. As well as speaking sentences adults can make sense of, I now have marker to see my progress How well can I speak with the 3 year old son of one of the guests. I read him a kids story, and asked what his name was…and he does not mind at all being asked the same question multiple times, so we got along great. He happily told me his and his sister’s age about 10 times during the day.

A Timely Post, Dutch Style

Telling time in Holland

A short note on time keeping in Holland. I knew I’d have learn to translate words from Dutch, but did not realize I’d have to do that with the time as well. The time here is displayed in “military time”, so 4:30 PM is actually 16:30. It does avoid confusion, but I’m always having to calculate how many hours after noon it is. This is especailly important for Law and Order re-runs, oh and for catching the train too.

I think the Dutch math teachers had a hand in deciding how Dutch tell time…I get a lot of practice with all my numbers. Some of it is pretty straight forward: 5:15 is “quarter over five”, and 5:45 is “quarter before five”….but the math professor influence comes in when you want to say “5:20”…3 guesses how they do it…of course you guessed correctly you would say “Ten Minutes Before Half-Until Six”…yup, that was my first guess to. Practice saying that ten times fast! Maybe I’ll just make a new rule that all things time related are in the first or last 15 minutes of the hour.

Well, I promise, pictures coming soon….of my house and England vacation, and all the others. Please post comments too on how you enjoy my sparkling wit, that “if you think that’s something to write about, have I got one for you”, or just to say Hi.

Shopping In Holland

Every coin has 2 sides. As an employee, I say “Great, only 40 hour a week and 8 weeks off, with not as much pressure to work overtime”….But as a customer, I am seeing the downside.

First, all shops are closed on Sunday…that means all grocery stores, clothing stores, even the large chains like Ikea. Additionally, they usually close by 5 PM on Saturday. This means if you plan to shop AT ALL on the weekend, you better not have a sleep-in-late day on Saturday. Especially if you work late during the week, this is the only day you have for any store related errand. This includes the services like the copy shop and beauty parlor. I think gas stations and churches are the only places open on Sunday.

During the work week, the stores close on Monday morning to make up for the fact that they had to work on Saturday. During the entire week, then non-grocery stores close at around 6. Luckily the grocery stores stay open until 8 or 9, so you can at least grocery shop. This is imortant, since some refrigerators such as ours are mini-fridges. You need to shop every other day for space reasons. In most of the cities, Thursday is late-night shop night. All the shops stay open until 8-9. So, plan ahead and do your shopping on Thursday night and Saturday day.

For the grocery store, you have to pay about .50 for a plastic bag. Dutch people have large bags they bring into the shop so as not to spend extra on bags. You also have to bag you own food, so remember to put the eggs on top! If you want a shopping cart, you have to put a half-euro coin into a lock to get the cart out. You get it back when you return the cart, so this is a huge incentive not to walk off with the cart.

Driving With The Cows

I had my first ever stick-shift driving lesson. For those that don’t know, 95% of cars in Europe are stick shift. Why is this? I have heard 2 reasons: You use about 10% less gas with a stick shift (and gas is about $8.00/gallon) . The other reason is that automatic cars offend the delicate male ego, Manly Men only drive stick shifts. Since many families only have 1 car, then manly man factor wins out. Take your pick of your favorite reason.

Well, anyway, I digress…back to my own driving experience. Since our American car had not come in yet through customs, Rob and I rented a stick shift car. We decided to use the opportunity to do a driving lesson.

Rob found a quiet country road, where no one else was likely to be, surrounded on both sides by pasture land and cows. When we got there, the cows were placidly grazing all over the field (keep this in mind for later in the story)….

Now, for those who have never tried driving a stick shift…it is unlike any automatic driving experience. You have to co-ordinate your left foot clutch, right foot brake/gas, and shifting from neutral into gear. If you don’t get it right, your car becomes a bucking bronco until you shift it back to neutral….or it just stalls. Well, I had a lot of stalling, and not a lot of moving, especially in the start. We covered only a small amount of road, with a large amount of noise and effort.

After about 10 minutes of driving, I looked over the formerly placidly grazing cows. They were now all lined up along the side of the road gazing eagerly at me. Now, I know I am an interesting person, but I have never had a bovine audience before, let alone one so enthralled. Was it my great skill at driving they lined up to admire? No, in the end, Rob and I figured that they were all lined up at the rail where the local farmer comes to feed them. Usually only a farmer interested in these cows would stop his car directly in front of them, so they equate car noise and car stopping as food. Well, cruel hearted person that I am, I did not stop and feed them . In fact, I tortured them with another 15 minutes of driving lessons by the pasture until I learned to drive away. By the end, if a cow ever gave an evil glare, it was these cows.

And thus is the tale of my first stick shift driving lesson.

The 6 things you need to be a successful Dutch school girl

Before I could begin my language school, I needed to get all the supplies. Of cause I got the texts, backpack, notepad etc… But, for Holland, you will notice a theme in the preparations….as a hint, this can occur every day in Holland that has a “Y” in it. Yup, you got it, Rain…and the other Dutch obsession , bikes:

My supplies included:
1. Light but very waterproof rain coat
2. “Vouw Parapalu” – small, back-pack size folding umbrella
3. Water proof shoes
4. “Maandkaart” – a photo ID month long train pass….
I have to take 3 trains for a total of about 50 minutes to get to the school.
5. “Strippenkaart” – NO, this is not a card to be an exotic dancer…its a bus card with multiple lines for stamps….more stamps for more distance…
From the station, when its raining, I take a bus to the campus.

6. “Vouw Fiets” ….folding bicycle
This takes a little explanation on Dutch character and love of 2 things: bicycles and a good bargain. There are more bikes per person in Holland than in any other country. Everyone has a day transport, usually an sport, and if you take the train, than a “folding bike”. You have to pay for a second train ticked for a regular bike, and haul it up/down train station stairs. A folding bike can fold in half to be a large suitcase, and therefore is not charged extra. There are very ingenious types…wheeled carry cases, fold at the touch of a button, 10 gears for the sporty types

If the weather is good, I bike from the train station to school, and if I want from the main train station to my house. Otherwise, the train to my suburb only runs once each half hour, and of course, I usually just miss it by 5 minutes and have to wait 25, never the other way around.

Well, in the next exciting chapter, I’ll describe the class, irreverent teacher and fellow students.

Friesland family vacation in Dutch countryside

Friesland Vacation

I went on a beautiful family vacation with the Family Kaptein from last Friday to Monday. We went on vacation to Friesland, the rural area of Holland. There are only 11 cities, and coutless small villages. We also saw lots of farms, cows, sheep, horses, and boats! This area has some of the best sailing in Holland, so there were thousands of boats out too!

We stayed at a “Boerderidj” – a farm house. It was a special vacation house, not sleeping in a cow barn for us city folk. It is a 2 story vacation condo, with 3 bedrooms, and a well equipped living room and kitchen. The farm overlooks flowing green meadows, with cow mooing in the distance, and boats sailing by little canals all around. Our landlady said as a child she sailed a boat to school until they built more modern roadways.

As well as Rob and I, we went with Jan and Nettie (Rob’s Mom and Dad), and his sister Femke, her husband Thomas, and they’re nephew Quinten (who is just about 1 year old). Quinten was the center of attention, smiling and cooing, and keeping everyone on they’re toes. He is crawling, so we all had to watch he did not crawl into a table, stove, or wandering cow. Yes Mom, I hear that, I did get some practice holding and feeding him.

In the daytime, we went biking and sailing in the countryside and saw 2 of the 11 cities in Friesland. In the evening, Rob’s family taught me dutch card games, and we had dinner at the vacation cottage. On Friday, we had a delicious Italian pasta with Blue Cheese, and on Saturday dutch pancakes. The dutch eat panckes for dinner. I can see where Rob gets his cooking abilities, everything was delicious. I helped cut an peel, so maybe a bit of cooking skill got absorbed by osmosis.

I found out that in LA we have car traffic jams, and in Holland there are boat traffic jams. All the waterways (and there are a lot) are spanned by car bridges. All the boats line up and wait for the bridge to be raised on a scheduled basis. At peak time, there were about 50 boats all lined up for passage. I felt sorry for them on Saturday when the bridge guy took an unposted lunch break, so they were there for a few hours until he came back.

We luckily had a way around this bridge problem. Rob’s family rented a small sailboat with a mast that can be lowered. I got freaked out as we approached the bridge with mast still up. The seasoned sailors calmly tossed lines around and lowered the mast as the bridge was quicly approaching while I helped keep the baby out of the way. In fact, that is what I did most of the time…enjoy the scenery and all the colourful boats, and make sure Quinten did not decide to swim to the next boat to say hello.

We sailed in narrow canals, and on a large lake with hundreds of brightly colored boats. It was very beautiful. There were many kinds of sail boats that rob described, and I can only say they all looked like pretty boats but could not name the types if you paid me 500 books. We say a few 100 year old wooden boats of the Frisian type too. I’ll post a photo later.

We sailed both days, and also biked to a near by town. I defiantly learned that I need a kid’s bike. The landlord said “oh yeah, we have a small ladies bike, no problem”. But…a small dutch lady is still about 5 inches taller than me…so I priced biking endpoint, ballerina style, for the ½ hour ride into town.

We visited the largest town there, Snake, where there was a sailing regatta, so lots of pretty boats to see. We visited one of the Water Towers. A hundred years ago, there were water bridges that charded a fee for boats to come into town. This is the only remaining one, and it looks a little like the Disney Land castle. The barges used to go up and down the canals delivering food, goods and cows, as there were few roads. We saw some barges, where an entire family lived in a tiny cabin. I’m glad Rob is an engineer, not a Barge captain. My books would never fit in that tiny cabin!

Some random trivia of the area I learned: Frisian houses have a house in front and attached barn in back. The house is painted black, and the barn red. Black was historically more expensive paint, so you put the expensive paint on the front. Some houses have weathervanes that look like swans. These were special grants from the king allowing those house owners to hunt and eat the swans. Also, we passed a tiny 3 lane village that proudly says it’s a city because the King long ago granted them the right to call themselves a city – even though less than 2000 people live there. Rob’s parents live in a “village” of over 20,000…but since they don’t have a grant from the royalty to call themselves a town, they are a village.

All in all, it was a wonderful welcome by the Family Kaptein for me.

Holland- arrival of my stuff from LA!

Interlude: Holland Commentary

It is now Friday. I got back from my family weekend trip with the Kaptein Family on Monday night. I will detail the trip in a further blog (and I still have half of the England trip to describe too!)

But, the reader’s digest version of the week is:
Tuesday morning: My Stuff Arived!!! I now have all those things that for the last 2 months I’ve been saying “Now where is my…..oh yeah, on the boat to Holland”. Rob’s Mom and Dad were wonderful, they came over to our house in Dordrecht and helped unpack and clean…above and beyond parents-in-law duty! Luckily, we had movers to move the furniture and boxes, but we needed to unpack since the movers did not know where stuff went.

I defiantly found out that US furniture does not fit well in Dutch houses. Our stairs are tall and narrow, and our mattresses are wide and flat. Basic geometry says this is NOT a good match. Dutch mattresses usually have 2 twin beds, and wooden frame that folds, to get up the stairs. The movers finally brought a lift and were able to get them through the second floor window.

Rob and I had carefully and laboriously planned where each piece of furniture was to go….once we found the size of things, that went right out the window. We were creative, and now things have slightly altered uses, but still are OK. The clothes closet from Rochester is now a china and plate closet. None of the sofas could fit upstairs, our blue one is downstairs I the living room. One of the 2 original sofas from the landlord became a garden ornament until the landlords son took it away.

The third floor room next to the laundry now has a computer desk (the smallest furniture), a coffee table withough chairs around it, 1 rocking chair, and a few random small desks. Well, now if I want tea or coffee, I have an entire table dedicated to its use!

On Monday, I start my Dutch course, so I will document that in upcoming blogs, as well as other random dutch commentary, and the remainder of the England vacation.

England 2 - Roman baths and Romance Novel Heroins

Sorry I did not post for a while, very few british B&B's have internet connection apparently! Incidentally, I still dont either, so I have to go to the libary to use the internet. Many things are wonderful here in Holland, but not the phone company. Almost 5 weeks after ordering LAN line and internet, we called again and they said "Oh, you know, its summer, so things are slow. You'll get it soon." So, until then, sporadic posts when the libary is open and a computer is avaiable. I promise to spell check once I have internet at home, and Microsoft word. Until then, enjoy the typos,uuum, I mean creative spelling.

But, onto my travel stories:
I spent 2 wonderful days touring Bath. If you are a fan of Roman or 18/19th century social history, this is the town for you!

I had a stupendous time visiting the Roman Bath ruins, Jane Austen Museum, and the History of Costume museum (with ladies gowns from 1700's until present). Rob practially had to drag me out of that one after a few hours. Poor Rob was the only guy for miles around in either of these, wonderful sport that he was. We also did a great waling tour of Bath, were we learned some of the history of the place.

I got so much information here, I want to share all of it. If you like to read about the social and architechural history of bath, read on. If not, check back a few blogs later to read about my life in Holland again. Those fans of travel, history, or Victorian Romance Novels, will hopefully learn a little and be entertained.

Since pre-Roman times, Bath was famouse for its numerous natural hot-water springs. When the Roman's arrived on the scene in 1st century CE, they built a huge temple and bathing complex around the largest of of the springs. Today's spa-going ladies seeking a day at Burke-Williams would not be dissapointed! You could have a spa, massage, healthy swim, and beauty treatments. A few things were different: They did not have soap in Roman times for bathing. You would be masaged with olive oil, sit in a sauna to open your pores and sweat out the dirt, then scrape of the olive oil. Both Roman men and women belived in remooving of all body hair. They did not have razors, or waxing, in those days, so your arms and legs would be plucked with a tweezers, ouch! After your beauty treatments, you would go to the olympic size comunal pool for a gossip for the ladies, and men would conduct business there. I prefer that to a stuffy office any day!

After the Romans, Bath declined. The entire Roman complex caved in and was not found again until the 1700's. At about the same time as the Roman baths rediscovery, Bath was becoming the hottest place to be for the British high society.

In the 1760's, the entire town was completely remodeled into a giant tourist distination for the social elite. The british nobility and haute' ton would flock to Bath for the entire winter season to "take the healthful waters", marry off daughters, and parade in beautiful gowns and suits all to see.

The famous architect father and son team Jonh Wood Elder and Younger designed a beautiful circle of grand houses around a green parkway called the Circus. These beautiful 5 story housed were rented for the season the the highest society folks, You only brought yourself. Rather like a modern day business traveler staying for a few months, you could rent lodging, furniture, linnens, servants, and shops and shops of beautiful new cloths to buy. The architects only designed the front of the house with beautiful warm yellow stone in the Queen Anne style, but the inside and backs could look like anything, often chaotic and not as nice. It was called "Queen Anne in front, Mary Ann in back".

In the modern day, most of these 5 story houses have been broken up into million dollar apartment. One of the major concerns was no modern plumbing in them at all. In many, a "hanging loo" was installed - just bolt a tiny bathroom onto the back wall, hanging withoug much visible support.

After these beautiful houses were built, the British government came up with a novel way to raise taxes, a "Window Tax". If you had more than a predetermined number of windows, you were charged a tax. To aviod paying the tax, some windows were blocked in then a fake window painted on. Other windows were rebuilt sqashed together, as if the window gap between 2 windows 12 inches apart, it was considered 1 window. Once I get internet connection at hom